What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

What are the best examples of reverse psychology?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Should Pete Rose's record as the all-time hits leader be recognized and celebrated?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Southwest Floats First Class, Lounges, Long Haul Flying: Good Strategy? - One Mile at a Time

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

How should you brush your hair when its wet or dry?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why does my vagina and around my butthole itch? I don't have weird discharge and I'm still a virgin.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

According to Amy Schumer, John Cena was actually inside of her during the TrainWreck love scene. I thought that was illegal in Hollywood?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Is spinach easy to grow?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

What we learned from the 2025 Le Mans 24 Hours test day - The Race

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

LSU baseball vs. Little Rock: First pitch time, how to watch Monday's Baton Rouge regional final - NOLA.com

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

What is that one moment in your life when you felt "I am awesome"?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Since the Brits can't steer their oil tanker, what makes them think they can take on Russia?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.